Anyone who does CrossFit absolutely loves it. Anyone who doesn’t do it, loves to bash the “CrossFit cult”. Between all the AMRAPs, WODs, and Metcons, CrossFit athletes push through some insane conditions (many self-inflicted) that bring most other athletes to shame.
The daily course of events for a CrossFitter probably scares off a lot of people who don’t drink the Kool-Aid. To be one of the fittest athletes around, it takes a lot of sacrifice.
Check out the list below for some of our favorites!
1. Painful Butt Blisters
V-ups, butterfly sit-ups, hollowrocks. For those of us who like to power through these, the Butt Burn is real. It happens from scooting a little bit on the floor as you speed through reps.
If you’re a girl or a banana hammock-wearing man, you make sure to avoid the beach for a few days while your acid kiss heals.
2. Eating the Family Size and Not Getting Fat
Pizza, beer, burgers, more beer, burritos, maybe another beer. Why is it CrossFitters can eat almost anything and never gain weight?
Daily high intensity WOD's burn 100’s of calories and keep your body in fat-burning mode for hours afterwards.
3. Inevitable Double Under Battle Wounds
CrossFit Games athletes make it look so effortless – hopping up and down consecutively without any fails.
We all know how tough your first double unders are. It takes weeks or months of looking like a self-loathing masochist, covered in rope marks.
4. Callus Tears, Blister Bursts, & Blood. Oh My!
Regular people get nauseous when they get video game blisters. For CrossFitters, if your hands don’t look somewhere between having been crucified or opened a hot stove, you might not be doing it right.
These puppies are badges of honor!
5. Protein Burps
If the protein powder didn’t clump in your shaker and blow up in your throat.
Chugging a pre-workout in the car before a WOD will give you some massive protein burps any teenage boy would envy.
6. Sweat Angels*
If the room looks a bunch of ghosts exploded on the floor, you probably just walked into a CrossFit box after a WOD. High intensity metcons are notorious for putting athletes through new highs of sweat loss.
*See Google for more.
7. Chalk... Chalk... CHALK EVERYWHERE!
CrossFitters might use more chalk than kids on a driveway.
Cleans today? Yup need chalk. Double unders? Yup, better chalk up. Sit ups?Sure, can never be too prepared!
Try walking around anywhere outside your box after using chalk. It's like walking through a fallout zone.
8. Creating Strong And Sexy Bodies
A common side effect of CrossFit is building a strong, athletic, attractive body.
This can be intimidating to people who are afraid of women who lift or guys who don’t spend their days on the couch.
Despite zero isolation exercises, your "broceps" might outmatch the typical gymrat’s.
9. Perpetual Piles of Smelly Laundry
CrossFit shirts, socks, shorts, leggings, shoes, hairbands. Most people will find themselves struggling under a ever-growing pile of stinky workout clothes.
ProTip: Wear everything inside out for a second time.
10. Fifty Shades of Pain
Every WOD is a grind - CrossFitters know that. Athletes don't show up expecting to look pretty and barely break a sweat.
If you do CrossFit, expect to experience new levels of pain and see facial expressions that wouldn't be out of place in a horror film.
11. No I Didn't Get Mauled by a Chihuahua... Deadlifts
People might ask if everything’s okay when you walk anywhere after CrossFit with bloody, bruised up shins.
I always smile and say "You should see the other guy"
12. Your Workout is Their Warm-Up
Most people run a leisurely-paced mile and call it a day. At CrossFit, that's a warm-up.
Now let's talk working out.
Imagine if you were to combine running a 10k with hundreds of bodyweight movements and hundreds of pounds of barbells. Now complete that for time. With no rest.
13. Walking Handstands Everywhere
The average TV viewer believes handstands are reserved for Olympic gymnasts once every 4 years, and their niece’s tumbling classes.
Fact: Once a CrossFitter completes their first competition, they graduate from feet walking and begin hand walking everywhere. Meanwhile, the rest of us peasants are limited to bipedalism.
14. Loud Noises
Every workout isn’t complete until someone starts screaming like a water buffalo in heat.
But seriously – when you’re pushing for a new PR on Grace, you’ll do anything to get those last few reps done.
15. Olympic Lifting Fails
Unless you’re lucky enough to have impeccable form and superhero pants, you’re going to run into bruises covering your thighs, chest, and shoulders.
In CrossFit, we love our Clean and Snatch WODs, and the only thing better than catching a barbell in your groin, is dropping it on your head. Nobody wins that game!
16. Peeing During Double Unders
I've heard estimates in the ball park of happening to every 1 out of 2 people.
Let's just hope you know someone who has!
CrossFit is a tough sport! It takes a brave soul to do it. And admittedly, one a little crazy. 😄 Like many things, a high-intensity fitness program requires discipline and a willingness to push through your own personal limits. With time everybody improves, and the above list looks a little less scary.
Leave your comments below if you have any additions!
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